A Bird's Eye View

Eagle 1 to Parrot 3
Roger that Eagle 1, you're a go.
I've acquired a new target, prepare turrets for assault.
Ten Four, Eagle. What's the location on target?
Location indeterminate, Parrot, we'll have to run this one blind.
I'm sorry, Eagle, you'll have to repeat that. Do you have the approximate space of the target?
Target is not in a space, Parrot.
Not in a space? But I'm flying in hot! How will I- SPLAT!

--Last recorded transmission of Parrot 3. The bird was never found.

Picture submitted by Dina.

You can park in the handicapped spot...

... because apparently the people who supposedly get to park there don't want to!

Submitted by Kevin forever ago. Yeah I know it took me awhile... I was stuck outside looking for a parking space?

Another Report from the Technicality Department

Date: April 29, 2010
Location: Somewhere
Subject: Tan Buick
Officer on Location: Kevin Williams

Advise, subject was found parked partially in a handicapped space without a handicapped license plate. Protocol states that all Subjects parked in handicapped spaces without proper credentials are to be ticketed. Officer was unsure whether ticket should be issued. Officer assessed the situation and decided to issue a violation only to the portion of the car parked in the handicapped spot, at half standard ticket fee. An additional ticket for being a "dumbass" was issued for the remaining half.

A handicapped motorcyclist could totally still park there

Recommend establishing protocol for future incidents of similar nature.

Parking^-1

This one's brought to us by Adele. What we have here is not so much a bad parking job, as it is what I'm going to call an "inverse" parking job.

But, officer, I'm clearly not in the handicapped spot!

You see, this brilliant individual has somehow managed to park almost entirely in the space *between* spaces. That vexing nether-dimension to whence few have successfully ventured, and from whence even fewer have returned. Wait a tick... quick, someone call Dr. Bishop! That car is clearly from the other side!

SMART?

Yes... you certainly are

Alright so this is admittedly not the worst parking job ever, but the driver here clearly landed on the line back there, and there's just a certain poetry to this. Hitting the edge of a spot like that is quite a feat in a car so small that I normally expect it to be filled with at least 23 clowns. Yes, I left the license plate on this one because I thought it was just too good. It is not my intention to call out specific people here, but then again, if you can't land a SMART car between the lines, well then you really aren't very....... good at parking.

It's like Highlights Magazine!

Today, we're going to play the age-old game first introduced to me by one of my favorite children's magazines. There are 3 errors in the following picture, can you spot them?

Well, since I cropped the original image, I guess that game was a little easier than I thought. Now, we probably don't need to talk too much about that guy in the back. His transgression is pretty obvious, and besides, it's possible he paid for two covered parking spots so that he could park exactly like that.

But what about these two in the front? I mean, they are _basically_ in their parking spots, right? Sure they are, but let's be honest, if you drive a smallish car like that white one, is it really that taxing to fit it neatly in a parking space?

"Ok ok, Josh" you say, "but that truck had to park next to a pole! Clearly he just didn't want to risk hitting the pole!" And therein lies the problem. That truck *didn't* have to park next to that pole. There are literally four spots in the cropped image alone that do not border the dire pole. Three, if you don't want to risk parking next Whitey McCantFindTheParkingSpace over there (and who could blame you if you didn't).

But the real victim? The poor sap who is forced to park between them eventually, and who gets to look like the idiot when both of those cars take off, leaving this unfortunate soul parked alone on the line because there were no other options. The horror. The horror.

(Thanks to Mr. Greg Leeds for providing the image)

Introduction

Greetings! In this space, I will explore the wondrous and beautiful thing that is parking in San Antonio, Texas. There's a certain innocence in the way parking spaces seem to mean nothing. A glorious rebellion in the way people refuse to let their parking space be defined by fascist "lines." Nay, they shall make their own parking spaces, and, my friends, they shall be free...

So I will kick it off with this vehicle. Placed ever-so-gently on that precipice which divides reason and insanity... and one parking space from another.